Elder Care Is a Feminist Issue: When Daughters Become Providers

The Caregiving Crisis

Around the world, populations are aging. By 2050, the number of people over 60 will double to 2.1 billion, according to the United Nations. And who will care for them? The answer, overwhelmingly, is women.

In India, the crisis is particularly acute. With the breakdown of the extended family system, the migration of young people to cities, and the inadequacy of formal elder care infrastructure, the burden of caring for aging parents falls disproportionately on daughters and daughters-in-law. A 2023 study by the HelpAge India found that 68% of primary elder caregivers in Indian urban households are women, most of whom are also managing careers, children, and their own households.

This is not a coincidence. It is the predictable outcome of a system that assigns women the role of caregiver from birth and then treats that role as both natural and inexhaustible. **Elder care is a feminist issue** — not because men are incapable of caring for aging parents, but because the cultural expectation that women will do it is a direct extension of the patriarchal assignment of reproductive and domestic labor to women.

The Daughter's Dilemma

The "responsible daughter" — the one who takes charge of aging parents while siblings (often brothers) are excused from similar obligations — is a familiar figure in Indian families. She arranges medical appointments, manages medications, coordinates with domestic help, handles financial affairs, and provides emotional support. She does this while working, raising children, and maintaining her own marriage.

The career cost of this responsibility is significant. A 2024 study by the Centre for Economic Policy Research found that women who take on elder care responsibilities experience a 12-15% reduction in earnings over a five-year period, compared to men with similar caregiving responsibilities. Many reduce their work hours, turn down promotions, or leave the workforce entirely.

The economic penalty is compounded by the **"sandwich generation" phenomenon** — women who are simultaneously caring for aging parents and young children. These women are stretched between two sets of dependents, with little time or energy left for themselves. The physical and emotional toll is immense: higher rates of depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and immune disorders.

**"My brother lives in Bangalore and earns three times what I earn. But I'm the one who took two months off work when my father was hospitalized. No one asked him. No one even considered it."**

The Invisibility of Care Labor

The reason elder care falls to women is not that men are unwilling — it is that the labor of care is rendered invisible until it is performed. No one calculates the hours spent coordinating care, the emotional energy spent managing family dynamics, the career opportunities sacrificed to be "the responsible one." These costs are borne silently, expected gratefully, and rewarded minimally.

The invisibility is maintained by several mechanisms:

**The language of "help."** When a woman cares for her aging father, she is said to be "helping" — as if the care is an addition to her regular responsibilities rather than a full-time job in itself. The word "help" minimizes the labor and obscures the fact that it is being performed by one person, not shared.

**The assumption of availability.** Women's time is treated as more flexible, more dispensable, more available for caregiving than men's. A son's career is treated as important; a daughter's career is treated as optional. This assumption is rarely stated explicitly, but it shapes every decision about who will take time off, who will move closer to aging parents, who will manage the daily logistics of care.

**The emotional framing.** Care for aging parents is framed as an expression of love, not as labor. "You take care of Amma because you love her" — this framing makes it impossible to critique the arrangement without appearing to be unloving. The emotional framing obscures the structural dynamics that distribute care unequally.

What Would Equal Care Look Like?

An equitable approach to elder care would require several shifts:

**Shared responsibility.** Care for aging parents should be distributed among all children, regardless of gender. This means sons taking equal time off work, managing medical appointments, and providing emotional support — not just "helping" when asked.

**Institutional support.** Governments and employers must provide support for family caregivers: paid caregiver leave, flexible work arrangements, affordable elder care services, and mental health support. India's current policies are woefully inadequate — the country has no national caregiver support program.

**Valuing care work.** The economic value of unpaid elder care should be recognized and compensated. Some countries, like Germany and Sweden, provide caregiver pensions or tax credits. India has no equivalent provision.

**Challenging the "natural" narrative.** The assumption that women are "naturally" better at care is not supported by evidence — it is a cultural construct reinforced by practice. Men who are given equal responsibility for elder care develop the same skills and competence as women. The difference is not ability but opportunity.

**"When my mother was ill, everyone turned to me. When I was ill, I managed alone. That is the gender of care."**

Beyond the Family: Elder Care as a Public Issue

The privatization of elder care — the assumption that families, and specifically women, will handle it — is a political choice, not a natural law. Countries that have invested in public elder care infrastructure (the Nordic countries, for example) have significantly lower rates of caregiver burnout and gender inequality in employment.

In India, the lack of public elder care infrastructure is a direct consequence of the assumption that families will provide it. This assumption is no longer tenable. With declining birth rates, increased geographic mobility, and rising women's labor force participation, the old model of daughter-as-caregiver is breaking down. The question is not whether the system will change, but whether it will change proactively (through policy and cultural shifts) or reactively (through the collapse of the caregiving system and the women who sustain it).

Elder care is not a private family matter. It is a public policy issue, a labor issue, and a feminist issue. Until we recognize it as such, women will continue to bear the invisible burden of caring for a society that refuses to care for itself.